14 August 2012 (Miami, FL)
Ex-Miami Dolphins wide receiver Chad
Johnson sits in his South Beach penthouse distraught over the outcome of his
recent media ploy of head-butting his newly married wife Evelyn Lozada. The
incident not only sparked the star receiver's release from the Dolphins, but
also put a large dent in a nearly perfect relationship between Johnson and
Lozada. They had the fairy tale courtship, that included meeting on twitter,
then cursing each other out, followed by their first date at McDonalds. With
his marriage on the rocks and out of a job Johnson now questions his agreement
to attract more viewers to HBO’s NFL series “Hard Knocks”. Johnson explained to
police on Saturday that the whole head-butting incident was Greg Miller’s (producer of “Hard
Knocks”) idea. “I rolled with the black nail polish and profanity
filled press conference, both had good results so I thought Greg knew what he
was doing with this third stunt,” said a clearly dejected Johnson.
Johnson took Miller’s planned media
ruse and ran with it when he drove to his penthouse with Lozada in the
passenger seat while she was deciding how to blow all Johnson’s money for the
day. Upon arriving to their home Johnson had asked Lozada to retrieve a package
from the trunk where Miller had, unbeknownst to Lozada, planted a receipt for a
box of condoms. Millers plan worked as expected when Lozada confronted Johnson
about the receipt all Johnson had to do was plant his forehead into hers, which
he did yelling “GOALLLLLLL!”.
In a statement released today Miller
acknowledged his involvement in this past weekend’s domestic dispute and he
also pointed out that he “wouldn’t have to do ridiculous shit like this if the
dolphins didn’t suck so freaking much.”
Also according to the statement Miller plans next to attract viewers
to “Hard Knocks” by doing “something really sick and twisted” with new Dolphins offensive coach Mike Sherman’s deceased mother in
zombie form.
Photo Source: http://icgtech.net
